Slightly Unorthodox Things [closed]

Valen had a half-lidded, disinterested expression during this whole exchange as he chewed his food. He was sipping coffee when Claudia talked to him about his attire.

"So it's that sort of setting, hm?" Valen muttered. He pinched the collar of his coat and pulled it, looking down at it thoughtfully. It was pretty worn and faded from travelling on the road. He always made a point to travel pretty light too, so he didn't have much in term of wardrobe options. "I suppose it can't be helped."

"Excellent!" Claudia exclaimed. "See how smoothly things go when people aren't fighting? Now, everyone hurry up eating, we're going soon!"

Liseran glared at Valen before stuffing the rest of her raspberry sandwich, downing her water, and leaving with stomping feet.

***

Once Valen was done, he'd be join the others outside where there was a brown carriage with a sending as a driver. A few other sendings were placing luggage on it. Liseran was kneeling down as she fixed Remi's cape.

"I'm doubling the ribbon so it doesn't loosen, okay?" Liseran said.

Remi gave an obedient nod.

Claudia would see Valen and give him a firm nod.

"Okay, you three in the carriage, I'm gonna have fun up front with the coach," she said. "Make sure we don't bump into anything and whatnot."

Remi would hop on first and Liseran would go in second. Much to Liseran's dismay, the opposite seat where Remi was also had stacked luggage, and she frowned.

"Errr, Remi, why not you sit here next to Valen? Those suitcases would be uncomfortable to sit on."

Remi shook her head and hugged the suitcases.

"I'm fine!" Remi said. "Besides, I'm smaller so I'll fit here better than you or Valen. You have a poofy dress after all and Valen has his armor."

Liseran flushed.

"But...!"

Liseran closed her eyes and sighed. She'd inch into the carriage, making room for Valen. The latter would notice that Liseran was sitting stiffly in place, her hands clutching her book, and her eyes staring into blank space. He could perhaps even here a low grumble.

"hauu....."

"Hm, a carriage," Valen muttered thoughtfully. "Though it's not made out of a pumpkin, it seems fine."

He slid into the seat and stared through the window thoughtfully, not giving much mind to the arrangment. But then he glanced over to Liseran and quirked an eyebrow thoughtfully.

"What's the matter? Ate too much?"

Remi giggled.

"Valen, why would a carriage be made out of pumpkin?" she said. "It'd rot!"

Remi then looked around.

"Oh, did you remember to bring Fable?"

Meanwhile, at Valen's question, Liseran only turned redder, still making the same sound as she buried herself into her book.

"...buruu..."

"He's always around somehow," Valen answered flippantly with a dismissive wave of his hand. "Ah, don't mind. I was just thinking of a little tale involving a magic pumpkin."

Valen glanced at Liseran who only seemed to get progressively worse for one reason or another. He quirked an eyebrow curiously when suddenly he thumped his fist against the palm of his hand in realization. "Oh, I get it. You're worried about how your chest looks in that dress. Don't worry. Size isn't everything."

"Valen! Not here!" Remi gasped as she took a suitcase to cover herself.

Valen would notice Liseran's hair bristle as she glared daggers at him. She puffed her cheeks again, but instead of actually casting a spell on him this time, she'd grab his collar and lean his face closer to hers looking at him intently. And then...

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN SIZE ISN'T EVERYTHING!?" her voice let out in a shrill scream.

Liseran would grab Valen's cheeks and start stretching his face angrily, her eyes teary and her teeth gritted.

"WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY ABOUT MY CHEST SIZE EH!?" she panicked. "'Size isn't everything', oi, oi, oi, I-I'll have you know that you're not hot stuff yourself! Y-you must think you look so strong and sturdy in your armor, well, I bet if I take it off, you're just a scrawny, meanie, vampire and--"

She'd continue stretching Valen's cheeks until he actually tried to resist her.

Valen just sort of sat there taking the abuse without so much as an eyebrow twitch. His face warped like taffy, the man just stared blankly as Liseran screamed at his face.

Then he raised a hand slowly and... patted her on the head.

"Der der," he muffled out. "Nao ur reraxed raght?"

Remi watched in, well, horror and amusement as the two began to bicker. She kept the suitcase raised to her face, only letting her eyes peek as they continued.

Liseran was stretching Valen's cheeks furiously, her eyes closed and her face red, but when he placed his hand on her head, she froze.

"...fugi...!" she squeaked.

He'd notice her tremble and slowly retreat her arms as he continued to pet her, almost as if she were a pet relaxing after being agitated. Her fingers curled up and her arms slowly retreated back to her chest, almost like raised paws.

"G...ghhh...y-you can't think you get away with this by p-petting me, do you??" she said squeaking.

But her voice was becoming milder, and she had one eye open as he continued to pet her head.

"No," Valen answered simply, pulling his hand back. "But it's a start."

"H-hauu...." Liseran whined.

Her eyelids began to lower and her shoulders began to slacken.

"You're such a...such a meanie..." she mumbled.

Her eyes closed and before Valen knew it, she started leaning against him, curling up and breathing deeply. Was she...sleeping?

Remi slowly lowered her suitcase.


"Wow, how did you do that?" Remi said in surprise. "Did you use some sleeping spell or something?"

"Mnn...spell..." Liseran mumbled.

Remi giggled.

"I guess she's tired," Remi said.

She relaxed back in her chair and placed the suitcase back.

"Liseran acts weird around you," she said. "Why are you two always fighting?"